Okay, everything came together last night and below is a more detailed outline, this email is for you to be in the loop and help me keep focus if necessary and for me to get it all straight in my head :-) I leave for pa 17 weeks from today, or yesterday on the 8th of November. Alec is working a plan to be on his own before then... part of it includes a Domme (I'm praying a LOT but he really does seem to know what he's doing) I believe Dave and Finn are supposed to be here keeping the FL fires burning while I go get Tony, so I have a lot of puzzle pieces to get in order in a very short amount of time.
I was given new spiritual people last night to shift this whole thing up a notch. They gave me a new meditation to do on sales, they've been saying the only reason there's still a hold on my money is because I'm not aligned right, so I'm putting everything into getting aligned, nothing else matters right now.
I've turned a corner on the fear, doubt and crazy, I watched that Ted talk from that woman who wrote the biography about Muhammad and how he struggled to nearly the point of suicide after receiving the koran because he feared he'd been taken over my a gin... I understand this feeling.
What I'm getting right now doesn't entirely make sense, but I DO believe it's god and as Abraham took his son up that mountain, even though I'm SURE that didn't make sense! I'm walking this path with faith. My constant prayer being for god's guidance and protection, and not to be deceived unless that be his will. I have surrendered myself to playing whatever part it is he has created me for in this drama, even if it's the bad guy. I will follow faithfully until the end.
Here's the point by point breakdown...
1. Dani and I leave 17 weeks from today on November 9th, or 8th, have to figure the tickets out still. but I'm buying them end of the week, because as with moving here, once I have the tickets, there's no turning back... I'm actually excited today.. wow I flipped out last night when they said I had to buy the tickets, but I'm excited now... yay!
Anyway...
2. I lose 50 - 100 pounds
I can easily lose 50 pounds by then, and I'm trusting god for the rest, whatever comes off above and beyond is entirely in his hands, but he said a while back I wouldn't see Tony again until I was under 200 lbs, the 50 puts me just under. The food stuff has all come together just in the last month or so too... again, excited about it... wow
3. Money... well, I'm trusting god for the money. This is definitely him, I believe that without any doubt now so I know for fact he'll come through and though I know he can bring me money any way he pleases, I do believe it's coming through the key. The only real way for that to work though is through the site because paypal is the only one who makes your money avail right away. Amazon pays by the quarter, publishers are quarterly and even if I sent a book today I wouldn't see any real money until next year, so Dani and I get this thing organized put it on the site and we start a HUGE word of mouth campaign. PLUS!! I was given permission to shift sk's sales into a particular meditation I do which always sees results AND I have a new creative team, Bonnie and Jack in the spiritual realm and I'm to use Alec as a mirror to reflect off everything (more or less) they give me. We've already had two amazing sessions and this whole thing is coming together brilliantly. More on Jack in a few...
3. Dani and I are supposed to be having this very active life down here this summer, this keeps coming to me, and last night I saw how this whole having a life down here this summer, is dress rehearsal for what we have to do in PA
We are not going to have any luck with Tony at first, and we are going to have to lure him in. Meaning we'll have to be doing things, living a life, not sitting in an apartment waiting for him to come around. We have to seem as if he makes no difference whether he's there or not and we'll possibly even be "running into them" along the way. But good lord they're eclectic. This weekend for instance, art show last night, roller derby tonight, Celtic rock concert tomorrow night. We're going to have to run to keep up with them, hence dress rehearsal down here.
4. I demote Tony to JUST a friend, as far as he knows. He has to believe that I'm totally fine with us being "just friends" I have to sell that to him so he relaxes. Then once we're there, it'll go in stages. I saw this part very clear last night...
- I'll be the friend, the friend he's VERY hesitant around, the three of us will probably spend a lot of time together because he'll feel more comfortable that way and I realized that's a HUGE part of the reason Dani's coming. We will be the cool friends he really loves hanging out with
- then I'll be the friend he kinda crushes on
- then I'll be the friend he can't stop thinking about
- then I'll be the friend he can't control himself around...
6. I get him to admit who he is and open himself up to his truth and we all get to come back here!!! I think we can do this in about 4-6 months, they keep say 4, but I also keep seeing May but that could just be because that's tony's and my anniversary and it would be REALLY nice to have this all wrapped up within 2 years of meeting him. At the end of the day my read on time sucks, so I'm telling you what I'm getting but time is always subject to change.
On that, I'm working on resting in god's timing, because anything other than his timing will not work here, this is too big to push. I have to stop saying to god, but I can go faster, try me try me, like a child, AND I have to find the balance between patience and inactive, so that's my new thing... OH and I have new spiritual people...
Jack came on board to help with Bonnie, I'm not sure that's his name, but I was saying I wish I could have a spiritual Jack because the guy I know who's Jack, he's great about listening to my writing stuff, but I don't need the complications of a relationship, so anyway they gave me a spiritual version. Plus I have a Dante, who's sole focus is my spiritual path. He's going to shift my prayer and meditation up a notch PLUS he's going to be pushing the whole yoga thing apparently. Then there's Evan (he scares me) his sole purpose is to get a sexual synergy going between us and teach me how channel my sexual energy into my writing, not let it run amok all over me and to handle the energy on the whole... and in the end, I think teach me how to unleash it on Tony, but that's WAY down the road. He's about energy on the whole, chakras, sending and receiving and balancing energies, but he's starting with sexual energy... sheesh
I am to make tony think that Dante, Jack, and Evan are "real" men I'm in a relationship with. sigh I suck at that. You're going to HAVE to help me. I am a TERRIBLE liar!!!!
I think that's about it... wow that's a lot!
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